I like my feet. I've always liked my feet. Yeah they're flat... so flat they suction to the floor when when I stand barefooted... but I think that's kinda cool. I also like the freckle on the top of my left foot. It's just above my first two toes, centered. I've always liked it. It shows nicely at the tops of some of my dress shoes. I have an olive complexion so my feet are that color too... and I guess that contributes to why I like my feet. But I think that's a pretty secondary (or...

My students had to give their first speech over their pet peeves. This, by far, is one of my favorite assignments to give. I have some, they have some, I'm going to throw them out there. I hate it when I'm eating dinner with someone and they scrape the fork across their teeth. Repetitively. I've asked people to stop it before. It's like fingernails on a chalkboard. Or worse: teeth on a chalkboard. Speaking of chalk, a student said one of hers was chalk. She hates chalk. That's it. She'...

I'm in the jewelry business in addition to being a school teacher. I'm so pumped because I have my first show with a whole room full of black women. I am blessed to have met a lady named Krystle and she's invited me to show the jewelry at a huge party. I may be the only white girl in the room! I'm very excited at expanding my social circle; people just stay segregated and it really sucks. She's been so much fun already in just planning it. I teach speech communication and one point ta...

Ah, the penny. The only copper coin we have, certainly making ol' Abe distinctive. They're proliferious, too! I guess that makes for an Abundant Abe as well. And they are annoying as all get-out. Don't lie. Unless your first or last name is Penny, you hate 'em. (A friend of mine got an obscenely-large lincoln tattooed on his back because his last name is... you guessed it.) You despise getting them in your change. In fact, you probably orphan them at the cash register, depositing them in t...

I had to go to walmart. And BLAST it, I had to go on a Saturday, for the love of God -- Saturday!!!! This is the day when the truly interesting people come out to shop. It's like a county fair with no governmentally-recognized livestock competing for awards. Were I going for sociological (or zoological) observation, this would be a schmorgasbord. (Hoping I spelled that right...) I was preparing to turn into the next parking aisle when a teal car, piloted by a moronic driver with delusion...

From a forward: usually they're the bane of my existance, but this was pertinant. A woman and her husband were invited to spend the weekend at the husband's employer's home. She was nervous about the weekend. The boss was very wealthy, with a fine home on the waterway and cars costing more than her house. The first day and evening went well, and she was delighted to have this rare glimpse into how the very wealthy live. The husband's employer was quite generous as a host and took them t...

As I mentioned in the previous article I wrote, I interviewed Jack Ingram a while back. I'm not sure why I'm thinking about it. But it's inspiring me so I'm going with it. My little brother is very important and influential in my life. No one makes me laugh like me. I say little, but he's only a very little bit younger than me. He's graduating college this may as a fifth-year senior. He abhors conformity. He had a thing a while back for wearing those "Mexican Wedding" shirts. Can't re...

I just read a really great article and I recalled my days as a payphone operator. Link I operated phones across America, some in Mexico and the Carribean, some in Ireland, the Virgin Islands, and a few other places. Basically, we were hired by private payphone owners to operate their phones. As a sixteen year-old from Texas (with no accent training yet) my East Texan was thick. I couldn't hide it nor did I know how to do such a thing. "Oh, wow, are you in Texas, then?" New Englander...

You know, as I wrote the article on the tomatoes, I found myself wanting to tell you to cook them to the color of a chicken fried steak. But then I heard you yanks saying, "what is a chicken fried steak?" You don't know what Sonic is either. Or that we have Dairy Queens, not DQs. But that's another matter, eh? Grab a tenderized beef steak from your market. Not too thick... look for the kind you'd pan fry. An okie I knew called them minute steaks. Then you wash them. Do your oil the sa...

I realize many of you are yanks and it cannot be helped. As a southerner, I feel compelled to entice you with the southern delicacy made famous by a film of its name: fried green tomatoes. I want to tell you how to make them properly so you won't be afraid to try them yourselves. Yes, you pick them green. Very green. And they need to be firm. Now slice them as thinly as you can. I think thinner is better. They need not be see-through. Don't get all Emeril on me. Just thin. Sprinkl...

I've been to church dinners with this one where a whole mess of us were supposed to bring Bananna pudding. Mine is always gone, despite bringing a great vat of it. Tried and proven! You'll need one can of eagle brand milk (or sweetened, condensed milk) One regular container of Whipped cream. One package of instant vanilla pudding mix (I use jello, of course) Nilla wafers (I use a box and a half. I highly recommend using 1 box regular and half box of new tiny wafers. For those of you w...

Anyone who’s spent anytime on my site knows I’m a proud Southerner, ready to share the richness of our heritage. Something I’ve been meaning to write on is the amazing word “Y’all.” My daughter is watching an episode of Scooby-Doo that has a ghost of a confederate soldier in it right now. The ghost used the word “y’all.” He used it incorrectly. Now that just grates under my skin. It made me think some instruction on the word’s proper usage might be in order. “Y’all” is a contraction o...

I thought about including this in the last article, but then I thought it would get out of hand. I researched for ideas I'd not thought of and some help in explaining pronunciation. I found people are as confused as I am. However, I did find some gold. I'm taking some Southern pronunciations form "The Southern Word" Link and eliminating the ones that are ludicrous or fixing the erroneous ones. Realize, my adaptations reflect my East Texan dialect and could be viewed as erroneous to ...

It's a fact. We all use phrases that are peculiar to our region and dialect. Amazing how even within the Amercian South, myriad dialects betray a speakers geography, quite like our UK neighbor's might. My article on proper "y'all" usage sparked a new idea. I take great joy in learning new phrases and clever ways of saying things. No, not for shock value, per se , but for the joy I get out of mastering a new phrase and incorperating its color into my speech. Yeah. I'm a nerd. Big deal. It...

"Miss, Why'd you wear that?" "That outfit's clean Miss!" "Did you put that outfit together Miss?" The above statements are all statements taken from my students over the past three years. I've got myriad more. They all have one very peculiar thing in common: they're all statements made by 14 year-old boys. Granted, some may be 15 (And let's be honest, some may even be 16) but these are all statements made by the younger males. I've noticed when Junior and Senior boys complement me,...