I understand the need to express individuality. I understand the urge to put decals on cars expressing opinions, accomplishments, our children's accomplishments, and God knows what all else. I have a rather nice one on my car that does none of the above, but it is nice.
There is one exeption.
"In Loving Memory of ______." Those are the absolute worse decals. I have so many questions. Where do I begin...
First, let me say, if you have one on your car, stop reading right now. I'm warning you. I'm probably going to insult you. So go back the forums. I wouldn't want your feelings to get hurt. If you can look at this objectively, stay put please.
My first reaction, and a very honest one, is "How tacky!" I don't know why someone would want such a sticker on the back of their car. I understand the grieving process and the need for a memorial of some sort... but a decal on the back of a car? This just doesn't strike me as appropriate or classy.
Perhaps I'm associating this with the most common form of this I see in my area -- being the South. "In Memory of 3." If you don't know who 3 is, then you need a romp through a Wal-Mart parking lot at at about 11:30 pm. You'll see just as frequently, "In Memory of Dale Earnhart" with a nice three centered below it. Again, I say, "classy."
I see little angels with birth and death dates letting me know the person lost a child. As I'm waiting in the drive-through of Jack in the Box I'm not real keen on looking up and seeing that. Kinda makes it all seem pointless, doesn't it? How can people tolerate being reminded daily of their grief? It cannot be healthy. Maybe moreso, it seems like the person is flaunting their loss.
Some of these decals are rather elaborate. I don't see spending nearly $50.00 on a huge "look what happened to me" for my car. I'm really not trying to be insensitive. I know I'd be devestated if I were to lose a child. Really, that's not the point. I'd rather not flaunt my loss at Chick-fil-a, Wal-Mart, the cinema, Sonic, and the car wash. Seems a little unholy; a little flippant I guess.
And then you see the dates that indicate the person was lost quite some time ago. I'm talking 1985. I think that means the person found an important loss in his/her life and "resurrected" it to put it on a sticker in time for the current trend. Nice. Some are as recent as 1997, but geez, that's quite an impressive number of years to keep that decal looking fresh and new, maintaining it, remaking it, reapplying it. Wow. My question remains: Why?
I've seen tributes to mothers. To husbands. To grandparents. Some I strongly suspect are pets. If it's "In Loving Memory of _____" does that mean the car itself is dedicated to the person who died? The use of the car to the memory of that person? Just WHAT is in loving memory of that person? Is it the decal itself? Again I ask, "Why?" What purpose could it serve? Is it to flaunt the loss? Because of some morbid need to belong to the sudden culture that expresses its loss through bumperstickers and decals? A highway mourning club?
This all strikes me as extremely bizarre.
So I did something about it. I told the people I love that I expressly do not want my name on a decal with my lifedates on a decal on their suburban, civic, or corolla. Not for 3 months, not for 1 year, not for 10 years.
Would you?