What it is and what it's not
Do we really go to God for forgiveness? Or do we all too often bring him reasons why He should excuse us?
An excuse is not the same thing as forgiveness; if there is an excuse, we don't need forgivenes.
We say, "I know I did wrong, God, but you know I was late for work..." or "The kids were really grouchy..." or "that guy hates me though..." or "I didn't know this would happen...." These are excuses for behavior. I think we often have some good excuses. But more often, there is real sin we must have forgiven. Some amount in it that the excuse doesn't absolve.
We can only say, "I did wrong. forgive me." God looks right at us, dead-on at the sin. And he forgives us. If we present excuses, aren't we really denying a need for forgiveness? I think so. "but it wasn't my fault," means I've not done wrong. How arrogant! How haughty. God hates haughtiness. He says so in the proverbs and psalms, and well, all over the Bible. But that's what we do.
The trouble is, we don't want to forgive those who hurt us. We want to hear their excuses. We rationalize with them and then call it forgiveness. But that's not forgiveness. Forgiveness is us looking dead-on at the sin and forgiving the person for the sin, for the hurt they caused us. It's not forgetting, in my opinion. But it is saying, "I'm okay. We're okay." You may have to say this 7 times 77 times just to fully forgive the one offense; if you do it that many times, chances are the forgiveness is actualized. And we can't be forgiven if we don't forgive others. The Bible is very clear on this. Jesus Himself said it. I don't think he was joking. He isn't crazy, and he isn't a liar. That leaves this: He's who He says He is and He means what He says.
All this comes from CS Lewis' essay called "On Forgiveness." I highly recommend it for further information on the topic. It can be found in The Weight of Glory. I'm interested in any additions to this, any comments. Is this true for you, Christian?