Lilly Tomlin said the reason humans developed language is because of our deep need to complain.
If we couldn't complain, where would we be? Have you ever fasted? Our pastor asked us to spend a week fasting from negativity. I like to think I'm a very positive person. In fact, I'm usually so positive people comment on it. However a complete fast from it was nearly impossible for me. (I am typing this article to complain about complaining if that weren't enough.) As a teacher, I've noticed the kids have so much trouble with this area too. If they're not just negative, then they're whiny. They kvetch over every little thing. I get rather tired of hearing it all the time. I always try to find ways to fix it, but my work goes undone in no time. I tell them how my school was much stricter. I tell them about how real life is going to kick thier tails if they think high school is something to complain over. I remind them about how they sound, I tell them I hear it all day -- nothing.
I know the fix for this is gratitude. Read Weisel's novel Night or Anne Frank's diary and see if you don't walk away with a shade more gratitude for what you have and a wee less negativity. Put yourself in Margaret Atwood's novel The Handmaid's Tale or a Dickens novel. I know spending a week in a developing country did wonders for me. And to think, we complain about things that they'd be grateful for. I know the flaw is ultimately in me, not in my circumstances. It's all relative.
Do I have a right to complain? Do I have a right to be heard? By whom? Who wants to hear me complain? Who needs to hear me complain? Do I have to listen to you complain? Can I assert that something is wrong without complaining? Does it ultimately do any good?
I know there's a right way and a wrong way to complain, but I think I chose to complain a lot more often than is necessary -- a very unattractive quality. I always admire a person who doesn't complain and wish I could be more like them. I take their complaints (if they ever had one) a lot more seriously. And I bet you've said this about someone: "Oh, him/her? They're always complaining." And you're thinking: consider the source.
These are complicated communication questions and I think it all comes down to this: we're spoiled and don't know it. And I'm first to admit to it.