The things that make me laugh, weep, and live.
Made for Me
Published on March 18, 2004 By Shulamite In Personal Relationships
Do I believe there is one person for every person, specifically meant for them?

Wow, what a deep question. I used to not beleive that. I'm a logical, practical person. I used to say, "no. one can be perfectly happy with a number of people on this earth and seeing as how a huge factor in who we marry is 'proximity,' how can there be only one person anyway?" Not very romantic? I agree.

I had a boy I dated challenge that thought. Well, it was one date. I think it was one date because I disagreed with him on this thought. His email addy has "cowboy" in it, so I'll refer to him as such. Cowboy said that there had to be one person for everyone. True, he was spazzing about someone he proposed to breaking up with him about a year before, worried, he missed her. I argued, "but if she were going to leave you, aren't you glad she did it now?" He said, "Yes. No." He may have asked, "Am I?" but I don't know for sure. The point is, he was quite passionate about it.

Cowboy got me thinking about it, anyway.

I challenged my thoughts. I began worrying, "what about that great love I once had -- what if he really was THE ONE for me and we blew it and now I'll be doomed to ... to ... unhappiness... or mediocrity ... for the rest of my life!" Then I remembered something I inherently believed. I beleive -- quite firmly -- in a Merciful God. "His mercies are new every morning." Wow. That kinda changes everything.

So, to answer my more recent question, No, I'm not doomed to unhappiness. I'm not even doomed to mediocrity. The reason: we all make mistakes. His grace is sufficient. God is -- well, God. He's got this under control, right? I choose to believe, YES. Like I said, I'm a very logical person. (One doesn't study fractals and golden rectangles for a semester and not believe in a Logical, Orderly God in complete control of everything.)

So now that I'm not doomed, where can I go from here? I'm sure of this. If the person God has offered me becomes unavailable because he or I or we mess up -- make mistakes, errors, poor judgements, and just goof it all up -- He can fix it. I don't think that means I can ever have that person. Especially if he's married someone else. And he has. So that's over. Beyond over. I look ahead. And I'm grateful for what lies ahead.

And that's this: God has reformed me. I'm a different person now than I was then. I'm new. So guess what? I'll match someone else really well. Perhaps I'll match someone else whose messed up like me with someone else. And God will take care of me. Will I have mediocrity? NO! It will be fabulous. Euphorious, even. Because it's God-made. I believe this entirely, without waiver.

Now, proximity. Why can't God use this as an amazing tool in our lives? I believe the God of this universe can bring any person to where another person is for whatever reason He purposes, however he purposes. My friend met the man she believes she'll marry when we were on a mission trip in a developing country. This man was there for a brief time, on hiatus from long term missions in a different developing country on the other side of the planet. He is from one end of the states, she's from the other. They were in the same cafe in the same little country on the same day for the same purpose -- putting His kingdom first.

I realize one story isn't infallible proof. But I bet if I polled you guys, countless of you could share similar stories of you or someone you know meeting their life mate in similar circumstances. After all, I'd rather meet and marry someone who's near me than someone who's far away!

To conclude, yes, I do believe there is one man out there for me. My "Solomon" is out there. He's called to preach the gospel. He's serving the kingdom first. He's becomming the man God's called him to be. When God's finished getting him to just the right place, God will let him know what's up and tell him I'm his. Now that's romantic!

Amos 3:7



Comments
on Mar 18, 2004
I don't believe in God, but look that way, if he is the ONE for you, necessarly if you believe in exclusive monogamous relationship, you are the ONE for him. Consequantly, you should realize each other importance very soon, shouldn't you?
on Mar 19, 2004
Jepel, this is an interesting response. I suppose when I look at all the scientific data in support of the fact that there is a God (And only one at that) I believe it takes more faith to believe there is no God. That's coming up with explanation after explanation that falls leagues short of a God-explanation. For instance, there's the "Tzo." The "Tzo" is only one way of saying that there is a system of beliefs we all, as humans, acknowledge is true at a very early age. A two year old understands the idea one shouldn't cut in lines and that one shouldn't promise something and not keep it. "But you PROMISED!" and "I was here first!" and "But that's MINE!" That said, we also understand from a very early age that humans to not adhere to this code of conduct that we're ingrained with. Animals have no such code for what some call "morals." I think looking at human beings (our biggest clue to the universe since we are the puzzle piece we're examining) we see there IS a God who sets this in our hearts. It's not instinct because animals have that and do not have the "Tzo" that they fail to adhere to. I don't think one can look at any object and make valid conjectures about its maker using it alone. Not personal traits and such. So other objects in the universe only point to the fact that there was a Maker (like a watch on an island points to the fact a Maker exists; a watch doesn't self-generate). I think that there is a Maker is certain. If you don't know what a fractal is, I'll be glad to share its majesty.

Now, to answer what I think your question is.

if he is the ONE for you, necessarly if you believe in exclusive monogamous relationship, you are the ONE for him. Consequantly, you should realize each other importance very soon, shouldn't you?

I'm going to try to paraphrase what you're asking me. tell me if I"m wrong. You're asking me that because he's the one for me and I'm the one for him, we'll find each other soon, right? That's a good question. Now, Jepel, you know my answer is coming from my world view and I think I've explained that to you adequately. If you skipped over it, you'll need it to understand my answer. "Soon" is a very relative term, right? For you, soon may be within five years. For me, soon may be within ten. Or Twenty. Rather than "soon," because of my world view, I tend to focus on "the right time." The God with whom I have a personal relationship -- I'll be glad to expound on this if necessary -- is a God of perfection. Therefore, the right time is crucial. In other words, the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing. I believe in sanctification, which is purifying. I believe my God is interested in turning me into the image of Christ -- which is God in the flesh. If I'm to become that image, then purification is intrinsic. I believe love is by nature patient. Hence, even if we know who each other is, to jump into anything without God's blessings and timing would be wrong and cause serious reprecussions to our relationship. A God-Blessed and driven relationship is one that is strong and will not fail because I believe God is love and Love never fails.

Perhaps that's a little lofty for you. Maybe you're thinking, "pollyanna." Well, no. I believe love works like crazy to serve. It's not pretty and roses and flowers. To keep the metaphor, it's mud and blood and sweat and lots of laughter puntuated by weeping moments when each other's strength is without paramount for making it through. How do I know? I've seen it modeled countless times. And I've seen folks happy in their old age, together.

Jepel, I'm sorry my answer isn't a short one. But I do believe in a merciful, kind, loving God who reached down to us to save us into His eternity through His Son's sacrifical death and who will guide your every step if you let him. When Gideon pulled down an altar to Baal, his enemies wanted to kill him. Gideon's father said, "Why do you defend a god? Why not let Baal do his own vengence." The point is idols are just that -- idle (if you'll pardon the pun). However my God, YHWH, is a powerful and mighty God who loves without measure. He asks, "can you imagine me without diminishing me?" Look at the comments on the "can't sleep" article if you want to know more about my God. Peace to you and I pray His blessings on you, Jepel. I look forward to talking with you again.

on Mar 28, 2004
I don't know really what I believe about this except that there is NOT someone for EVERYONE, but some people, God doesn't want to married-----i.e. Paul.

Trinitie
on Mar 28, 2004
You're right, Trinitie. He did say it was better to remain unmarried because you can focus on God better. However if you must marry do so without guilt. I don't know. I think for some, God plans it out really well. And if we are attune to Him, His voice, and His will, we'll know each step with Him and won't worry about the future; mate or not.
on Mar 29, 2004
I think... it's too depressing to think about.

~Dan
on Mar 29, 2004
I'm a little depressed I didn't see Neo mentioned anywhere.